monty python and the land of zombies
by MontyCobra
Summary: one day i thought: "i wonder who out of the monty python and the holy grail would survive a zombie out break?" so i made this. rated T for some violence and swearing in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Monty Python and the Land of Zombies**

Chapter 1- the Realization

"Come men" shouted king Arthur "we must continue our quest to find the unholy fountain of cheese!".

"Excuse me sir" said sir Bedivere "why are we looking for and unholy item?"

"To destroy it of course!" replied king arthur "Then no creature may drink it delicious unholy cheese!"

"Hey look!" shouted sir Robin "It's sir Not appearing in this film! Maybe he can help us!"

"No" replied king Arthur "his name is sir not appearing in this film! If he came with us his name would be sir appearing in this film!"

"But sir" replied sir robin "This isn't a film, this is a fan fiction that is written, thats why we didn't bring sir not appearing in this fan fiction."

"oh ya" said sir robin "SIR NOT APPEARING IN THIS FILM, IT'S KING ARTHUR, COME HERE!"

he yelled

"ah hello sir" said sir Not appearing in this film "still looking for the holy grail?"

"Umm.. kind of.. we got arrested when we got to the castle" replies king arthur

"wait you went to prison?" shouted sir not appearing in this film "how did you get out!"

"he's a king you bleak." said sir Gallahad "he's the bloody one who sends people to jail!"

"WELL EXUSE ME FOR NOT KNOWING SOMETHING I HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING!" shouted sir not appearing in this film

The two men argued for a whole swallow's matting season until king arthur said that if they kept arguing that he would say ni to them and they shut up as fast as a swallow does a backflip.

"Will you accompany us?" inquired king Arthur

"Of course I will my king!" said sir not appearing in this film with a grin

So the set off galloping on their "horses" to the location of the unholy fountain of cheese they spent many days and night trying to find the unholy fountain of cheese.

After about 2. they found a castle where they decided to see if they could stay for the night.

"HELLO!" shouted king arthur to the top of the tower "WHO LIVES HERE!".

There was no answer.

"I AM KING ARTHUR, KING OF THE BRITTANS ME AND MY MEN WISH TO STAY THE NIGHT IN YOUR CASTLE!" he shouted again

from in side the castle he heard a faint "aaaarmlooooogar" then the castle doors opened.

"Hmm" said sir Bedivere "i guess they will let us stay."

when they entered they saw what appeared to be the women of the castle of anthrax.

"Hello ladies!" said sir Gallihad "I'm back!".

The women turned around revealing they're decomposing faces and green skin

"OH MY GOD!" shouted sir gallihad "YOU'VE GOTTEN FAT!".

"no,no" said sir bedivere "i believe they have whats known as ioviougqiwb, which is what causes people to become zombies."

"that would explain the green skin and lack of jaw bones for some of them." replied sir Gallihad

"roolonash?" said the zombie women

"men," said king arthur "I think we should run away!"

"way ahead of ya!" shouted sir robin who was already about 1.738645095 miles away from them.

They all fled with the decomposing and pretty ugly zombie women chasing them.


	2. Chapter 2

**CH.2- The second chapter**

They ran from the zombie women for a long time before accidentally running into a spooky, dark forest.

"I think we can stop running" said Sir Bedevere gasping for breath and out of breath "I'm very sure we lost them when they fell into that volcano.".

"are you sure sir Bedevere?" said Sir Robin "I thought only a wooden stake through the heart was the only thing that kills zombies.".

"That's not zombies idiot!" said Sir lancelot as he smacked Sir Robin on the back of the head "That's were-wolves!".

"Oh ya." said Sir Robin rubbing the back of his head.

"Hey what's that?" said sir not appearing in this film while he pointed to a moving bush with feet.

they all took out there swords and walked over to the bush, except for Sir Robin who was hiding behind a tree, then all at once they jumped on the bush.

"Get off of me you stupid english-man!" shouted the bush in a french accent.

"what the-" shouted sir Galahad before the french bush punched him in the face.

After that all the knights stepped away and a man stepped out of the bush, he was dressed in the same outfit as the the leader of the knights of ni except instead of massive horns on the helmet there where massive alligator tails he was also the same height as the knights of ni leader.

"OH NO!" yelled king Arthur in terror "IT'S THE KNIGHTS OF NI!"

"AAAA!" yelled the man who was hiding behind the bush "Why did you say the word!"

"Ha" said Sir robin proudly "we've got you now! IT!IT! IT! IT!"

"That's not the cursed word" said the man who was hiding behind the bush "the other word is."

"you mean ni?" inquired sir Bedevere "I thought you where with the knights of ni.

"Of course not you idiot english boar!" said the man who was hiding behind the bush "I am the leader of the knights of it! The knights of ni are our sworn enemies!"

"In all my days I have never herd of a a group called the knights of it" said King Arthur "how strange!"

"Silence pig-dog!" shouted the knight of it " I have wondered too far from the base and I must find a way back!"

"why did you just say that?" said sir Bedevere "it didn't make sense and seems like a bad plot device!"

"It is" said the knight of it "the author wanted me to be in this and now doesn't know where to go with me! Darn english stupidity!"

"ah well shall we escort you back to your base?" asked sir Gallihad

"fine you toilet gatherers" said the knight of it "but you shall be our guards! No more!"

"why can't you defend your selfs?" asked sir robin "I mean you are knights."

"the word of it doesn't work well on the undead. Stupid english fire spitter!" said the knight of it.

After that they skipped along the corpse bricked road to the land of o- I mean the knights of it's base


End file.
